Desire is not an option. christianity is not a moral program or sin management 101. it is about desires. experiencing desires. Jesus is the Living Waters. Go to Him if you are thirsty. He is the Joy of our Desire. It is not about duty. The pharisees knew all about duties and knowledge but it killed their desires. God is all-consuming fire. I was watching X-Men. The last scene moved me. Wolverine was willing to die for Jean. Did you see the passion in His eyes. That passion moved me. Jesus died for you. Jesus died for me. 

Jesus did not lecture Samaritan woman who came to draw water at the well about her sexual lifestyle. Instead he said to her, "The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life." (John 4:14). The goal of morality is not morality, Eldredge said, it is estacy. We are made for bliss and that’s the life we search for. God knows happiness is fragile, and it must rest upon something greater than itself. Him, alone. 

God is a deeply profound passionate person. Look at his love. Rather, look at the expression of His love. We’ve looked up on Jesus’ death so lightly. Taking for granted even. Desires drive us all over the place looking for avenues to satisfy it. This continuous search only points to its not being fulfilled. Then our hearts grow cold. We can’t give someone anything when they don’t want anything. We can’t hope for what we don’t desire. God waits to be wanted, said Tozer. We are afraid to desire. We fear our desires will undo us if we should let it rise to its fullness. And so we disown it or call it a sanctified emotion or hide it under the term "maturity". The danger of disowning it, Eldredge continued, is that it sets us up for a fall. As a result we can’t differentiate between real life from a tempting situation. We worship money, fashion, sports, work, in the attempt to numb and disown our desires. 

May (The Awakened Heart) said, "Choosing love will open spaces of immense beauty and joy for you, but you will be hurt. You already know this." Eldredge said that if you make someone your life, your life will seem to end when the relationship ends. But do we not form relationships because our friends will hurt us? Do we not love because we may be hurt? Do we give up our dreams because our hopes have been deferred? "…pleasure and pain go together; indeed, they emanate from the same place…"

Eventually something or someone will come and touch those places in us, offering us a taste of intimacy and adventure. 

I end my review of the book with Eldredge’s own quote,

To live with desire is to choose vulnerability over self-protection; to admit our desire and seek help beyond ourselves is even more vulnerable. It is an act of trust. In other words, those who know their desire and refuse to kill it, or refuse to act as though they don’t need help, they are the ones who live by faith. Those who do not ask do not trust God enough to desire… They deepest moral issue is always what we, in the heart of hearts, believe about God. And nothing reveals this belief as clearly as what we do with our desire…

…we must not make a fatal error and try one more time to get rid of it. We cannot revert to killing our hearts… estacy is not an option. We must have life. The only problem is in our refusal to wait. That is why God must rescue us from the very things we thought would save us." 

My reflection:

Our desires are materials for faith.

Why would anyone pay $549 for a pair of Hugo Boss pants? Is it really paying for value or is it just a vain pursuit? Why would anyone want to pay so much to advertise for Hugo Boss or any other brand for that matter? Status symbols? Isn’t this then like serving Money? A friend said it depends on our social class. But that’s exactly my point. What we own or don’t own then become our status symbols. We can’t run away from brands. Donning a pair of Levi’s jeans is also being brand-conscious. Just where do we draw the line? Spend within our means? I think it is human tendency to indulge. What then is our yardstick? Is there a right or wrong? Where do we draw the line between indulgence and enjoying God’s prosperity? Does enjoying God’s prosperity necessarily mean spending $16k on a Frank Muller? 

Pastor Prince said something which boggled my mind. "The less you think, the more creative you are." The less analytical we are, the more we enjoy. He is saying enjoy what you don’t know. He illustrated it further. We don’t have to understand the aircon in order to enjoy the aircon! 90% of the world’s population operates on the left-side of our brain, the part where we analyse, deduce, worry. Pastor Prince made a claim that the spirit of widsom operates on the right-side of our brain, the part which is creative and capable of abstract thoughts. When this side of our brain kicks in, our left-side functions at its peak. 

My thoughts, as humans we have the tendency to analyse and overanalyse and as a result we worry. If God says He is gonna do this for us, we wonder if that will happen to us instead. We can’t help but self-rely. Until and unless we see with the spirit eyes that the battle truly belongs to the Lord, we will always be fighting a losing battle. 

What are we to do then? Pastor Prince said we are to praise and worship God. I was surprised by the message. It was a word deposited in my heart when God gave me Psalm 113. The best weapon is praise. Worship elevates us above our physical realm. It retunes our vision on God, on His sufficiency away from our own lack. In our praises, we declare that God is God and God’s rightful place in our lives is restored. 

Pastor Prince quoted these verses of how praise and worship provides deliverance.

1 Samuel 16

16:15 

Saul’s servants then said to him, "Behold now, an evil spirit is terrorizing you. 

16:16 

"Let our lord now command your servants who are before you. Let them seek a man who is a skillful player on the harp; and it shall come about when the evil spirit from God is on you, that he shall play the harp with his hand, and you will be well." 

16:17

So Saul said to his servants, "Provide for me now a man who can play well and bring him to me." 

He went on, when you feel the blues, don’t listen to the blues. Carry a melody of God in your heart, sing in the spirit.

He taught us a simple song,

Lord tune me an instrument of worship

Your instrument of worship

That I will lift my hand in your name

Lord play me an instrument of worship

Your instrument of worship

That I will lift my hand in Your name

My tears rolled down my cheeks. Not in sadness or gladness. It was the presence of God that filled the whole auditorium. I was tuned out of my senses and brought to a different realm. Rock music is the ABC of the music world, classical music university level, but praise songs are out of this world! If classical music can make cows produce more milk, imagine what praise songs can do, Ps Prince added.

Pastor Prince didn’t have to belt out a hillsong, nor does he possess a powerful lung, but he is truly anointed. I am skeptical about charismatic preachers but I am humbled by his anointing. 

"The battle belongs to the Lord."

If the battle belongs to the Lord, why do we struggle? 

We rely on our own strength more than we rely on God’s. We rely on our limited understanding more than God’s infinite wisdom, and mysterious ways. Our focus is on ourselves, our own limited supply of solutions. No wonder we worry. It is an irony isn’t it. We have the tendency to become self-reliant but we ourselves are a limited source. 

Have you realised that each deliverance in every circumstance has not come from our own strength? That each deliverance always comes miraculously? It’s unexplainable but inexplicable, & undeniably supernatural. I began to understand deeper what it means that the battle belongs to the Lord. 

I see Ps 46:10 in a different light now. "Be still and know that I am God." 

So is this verse:

Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you; you only need to be still."

We can’t do it on our own. We can’t release ourselves from bondage. Only God can. We can do what is necessary in the physical realm (there are still physical laws to obey and consequences to suffer) but the deliverance comes from God. 

Have you ever felt like flying away just to get away from it all? Has life ever been such a burden that all you can think about is escaping? David felt like that one day. That’s why he wrote, "And I said, ‘Oh, that I had wings like a dove! For then I would fly away and be at rest. Indeed, I would wander far off, and remain in the wilderness. I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest"’ (vv. 6-8).

Now let’s be honest. This is a natural feeling. All of us have felt like getting away, just packing our bags and saying, "I’ve had enough! I can’t take anymore! I’ve got to get away." It’s a normal, natural reaction. But it is not a good solution to any problem. We usually take our problems with us. We can go on vacation and enjoy a short respite. But when we return, the battles and burdens are still there. In fact, sometimes when we try to run away, we only make the problems worse.

Why does the Lord allow us to go through windy storms and tempests? They help us grow and mature. If we keep running away, we are like children who never grow up. No, we don’t need the wings of a dove to fly away. We need the wings of an eagle. Isaiah 40:31 says, "Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles." The eagle faces the storm, spreads his great wings and allows the wind to lift him above the storm.

Don’t run away. Run to the Lord, and let Him lift you high above the storm.

God allows trials to make you grow and mature and become like His Son. The next time you go through a storm, resist the pressure to run from it. Let God use the storm to accomplish His purposes.

Finally! It’s the much-awaited holidays! Hardly had time to exhale and when the holidays are finally here, a sheer tiredness just washed over me, an exhaustion I hardly had time to fully appreciate its impact. Friends said I looked tired this morning. Ya, couldn’t quite open my eyes. Need more sleep. More like more rest. Thinking about how to manage the workload more efficiently. The biggest part comes from managing the class. Have a month to think about it. 

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Reflecting on the Chess Competition held on Fri. Was presiding over it. Was standing over F & D’s game; last game for the day. Standing over them I had the vantage point of seeing the big picture. I watched as F’s pieces got swallowed up one by one. 21 moves didn’t save him. He was moving the pieces haphazardly with no strategy in place. I cautioned him to consider his moves carefully. I think sometimes we are like this with life. Going through life haphazardly without a purpose (esp God’s), without consultation (His), and we get "checked". 

Those checks are good. They let us reset our vision, rearrange our priorities. Our dreams and desires become materials for reliance on God. Oftentimes they are materials for sacrifice so God can teach us a deeper lesson. Trials check man’s tendency to self-rely, to think full of himself. Though trials are painful, creating the fire which burns, this fire also gives light. Trials strengthen our faith which grows deeper roots. 

So as I watched the boys make their miscalculated moves, just as God watches us make silly moves when we disobey Him knowingly or unknowingly, I began to understand God’s widsom as a parent a little bit more. My finite faculty will never be able to fully comprehend the goodness of His plans especially when it feels like walking on volcanic rocks. But I can trust Him that His plan is always a good one. Feelings can never be the best faculty we use to make our decisions and judgements. For when times are bad, and we feel so, we feel blame God for it, or worse, we may develop an inaccurate and distorted view of God. If Jesus had based his decision on his feelings, he would have abandoned the cross, but he trusted His Father’s plan. 

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Had an amazing day filled with activities. Wedding; went with J to fish shop to look at Nemos and cleaner shrimps and "prata" and eyes-bulging fishes; spent about 2.5 hr reading at SKS exploring different sections, came home with 2 good buys; walked the dogs; had Assam Penang Laksa and Sago Gula Melaka@ Penang Kitchen; accompanied a friend shopping (just why do PRL polo cost $119??? and Frank Muller watches $16k???? and Hugo Boss jeans $549???????), movie (X Men: THe Final Stand) and bike ride (Awesome!). What I liked about today is how unhurried the pace was (except for the bike ride of course!). 

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Thank you friends who have walked the last term with me. Without you where would I be? My faithful company, I can never thank you enough… I just wanna thank God for His amazing grace that’s pulled me through this term. He has begun a deep work and He has completed the deep work, so that I will boast not of my own might, but His power at work. I am who I am because God is who He says He is. Thank you Abba Father for being my Emmanuel, my comforter, my deliverer, my peace, my sufficiency, my healer, and my inexplicable joy. In You I find full satisfaction. To You be the glory!

Yours

Sarah

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Awesome! Was just talking about stars! and got this in my inbox!

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Author: Elisabeth Elliot

Source: A Lamp For My Feet

Scripture: Philippians 2:2 Philippians 2:15  

One of the letters the apostle Paul wrote from prison begs his friends to think and feel alike, to love, to have the "same turn of mind, and a common care for unity" (Phil 2:2 NEB). In such company there would be no room for rivalry or personal vanity. Each one would be thinking the others better, seeking to put their interests first.

Obedience, humility, cheerfulness ("Do all you have to do without complaint or wrangling") are rare in a warped and crooked world–nearly nonexistent, in fact, where each lives for his own ends. If a marriage counselor were to ask each partner, "What are your goals?" and the answer were "How can I best serve my husband or wife? What can I do to further his or her goals?" the counseling period would be over, the bill low. Any two people, any community of Christians who set themselves to look only to the other’s interest would be a rare and radiant thing, shining, as Paul said, "like stars in a dark world" (Phil 2:15 NEB).

In that same sense, a Christian might well pray, "Lord, make me a star."

I looked up into the dawn sky. The sky was a crisp pastel clear blue at 6.40 a.m. The thin cresent had a distinct edge around it. Against the relatively bright sky it was reflecting the light from the sun with a sharpness. Venus, a handspan away, was glistening like a diamond. What struck me was this crispness set against the cloudless morning sky. The sun is the reason they shine. The only sustaining source of power. 

Sometimes pain foreshadows our faith–our spiritual vision. It clouds us. But beyond this pain lies a constant. 

Psalm 113

The LORD Exalts the Humble.

Time is a sieve.

I have had 2 near death experiences by now. 1 second sooner and I would have been a hit-and-run victim on both counts. I don’t know how to explain just how awakened I feel right now.  

Psychology, at some point, will stop satisfying us with answers. It can explain part of the problem but can’t totally illuminate the areas that are clouded by some tangible experiences. Psychology is not all encompassing. For how can you grasp what is tangible with the intangible or scientic, when it needs to be grasped experientially.

We all search for a semblance of permanence in this world; our desires toss us in so many different directions. What is our unshakeable marker? What determines our steps? What is our inner compass? Starting from our journey as a new born child, our search will bring us through mountain peaks and valleys of highs and lows. Psychology can provide temporary relief. But only just.

Wah! Was chatting with a friend about the idea of self-sufficiency ie. depending on one’s resources hinders God from working in our lives and it appears in my inbox. 

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Author: Warren Wiersbe

Source: Prayer, Praise and Promises

Scripture Reference Matthew 7:24-27 Psalm 52:5-7 

The Last Laugh

Read Psalm 52:5-7

One of the problems with humanistic philosophy is that it causes people to think they are self-sufficient. They think they don’t need any outside help, that in and of themselves they have all they need for life and for death. David describes this kind of person: "Here is the man who did not make God his strength, but trusted in the abundance of his riches, and strengthened himself in his wickedness" (v. 7). That’s a description of the self-sufficient person who doesn’t know how dangerous his situation really is. Notice that God was not his strength. He trusted in his own wickedness. He was strengthened in his sin.

When life is built on sin, it has no foundation. Remember the parable Jesus told about the two men who built houses (Matt. 7:24-27). The foolish man built his house on the sand; he didn’t obey God. The wise man built his house on the rock; he obeyed God. And when the storm came, the house that was built on the rock remained strong and firm, whereas the house built on the sand collapsed.

God was not this self-sufficient person’s strength, and God was not his confidence. He depended on his wealth. Most people today think that money can solve every problem. This person "trusted in the abundance of his riches," David said (v. 7). And what happened to him? "God shall likewise destroy you forever; He shall take you away, and pluck you out of your dwelling place, and uproot you from the land of the living" (v. 5).

We can see this person in his home, surrounded by his wealth. But God reaches in and plucks him out–the way you would reach into a den and pull out a rabbit. This person is like a beautiful tree. But God says, "I’m going to uproot you." The righteous get the last laugh. "The righteous also shall see and fear, and shall laugh at him" (v. 6). Are you going to be a part of the last laugh, or is someone going to be laughing at you?

God is your strength and confidence. Don’t be like the self-sufficient person, who trusts in the world’s substitutes for strength and confidence. Let the Word of God permeate your mind and hide its truth in your heart. Place yourself in God’s care and let Him establish you.

Was preparing for worship leading earlier and came across this song:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth

Will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His Glory and Grace

Give Your heart unto Jesus

And worship His glorious name

And the things of earth

Will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace

It reminded me that the day I accepted Jesus as my Saviour had been one of my happiest days. I had found hope and joy and peace for my life.

Compressor died. Again. How can it die again? Been suffering from the heat and humidity the last few nights. Will have to wait till Wednesday before it gets replaced. Am hoping they can come tomorrow. Dogs have been suffering the most. I sponge them whenever I can and give them lots of ice cubes. This is one invention I cannot live without!