For 2 days I played the role of timekeeper. So I had a lot of time staring at the timer. The 1/10th of a second was travelling at an incredible speed which made me feel anxious. I wondered how much faster Time would be if we break it down even more. Not wanting to be stressed out by its sheer speed, I blocked out that part of the timer. Strangerly, time simply slowed down and so did my heartbeat.

It occurred to me how most of the time we think that time is crawling when we are waiting for God to scaffold the purpose of our lives. When is that answer going to come Lord? When will I know if he is your will for me Lord? Should I take that job Lord? Is that your will for me Lord? Won’t you tell me Lord? God’s timing is everything. God says, Wait. Be still. I am God. Or perhaps He really wants to tell us, my timer is like speeding away lor so it’s not slow what!

God sees time in terms of eternity (we on the other hand are obviously shortsighted), with time perhaps broken down beyond hundredths and thousandths of a second. It is perhaps not as slow to Him as to us when we are waiting for something to happen or for an answer. Because all things will happen right on cue and time.

Trust His timing. He makes all things beautiful in His time.

And He means it.

I smiled as I watched the kids sing “My Island Home” as they worked on the flags. Some were gyrating, some were singing on top of their lungs, some were doing the actions that accompany the song (which they exaggerated which was hilarious to watch!). I sat at my table simply taking in the sight of those 33 kids simply enjoying their art lesson with the music in the background. They were simply enjoying themselves as I delighted in watching them being children again. Their innocence shone through.

It really warms my heart when the kids are enjoying their schooling moments like this. They are uninhibited in the expression of their enjoyment of the music. Laughing and smiling and enjoying their classmates and teacher simply enjoying the silliness of their classmates and sharing one another’s joy. This is my sweetspot. Touching little lives.

had a very interesting discussion on what we do to abide in christ last night during CG.

do we work on our spiritual life with the focus that our “doing” will bring us closer to God? do we focus on our “doing” to foster intimacy with God? or do we work on it with the view that God has already done it all? that we have His unmerited favor, his grace.

there is nothing we can do–we can’t be any more faithful, holy–to earn God’s grace and love. we can’t do 1-2-3 to get from A to B. because Jesus has already done it all. we are already at B.

the element of doing is still very much present in enjoying God’s grace. but it becomes a top-down experience, not a bottom-up experience.

like a wife who doesn’t have to do anything to earn a husband’s love, but she still does things to please her husband to show her love towards him.

it’s not about how faithful we can become to earn God’s love. if it is the case, Jesus didn’t have to die. We will continue to have to work on our salvation to keep earning His grace.

We work not because we need to maintain a state of holiness to keep ourselves in God’s favour in order to be blessed by Him. He died for us when we were sinners, when we didn’t deserve His mercy and grace at all. He didn’t wait for us to be holy but simply because His sacrifice was an expression of his love for us. How do I put it? We reciprocate because God is wooing us. I love Freckles even though she is wilful. She didn’t have to be any more obedient for me to love her. I love her because. This is perhaps our Father’s heart. I am sure there is a lot more depth than we can ever comprehend.

I feel wooed. i simply enjoy His wooing and our bond. not for the things He will give, but simply bask in His grace. my faith arises (or grows) not because I do anything to make it grow. but that I see that He is faithful. my faith grows in proportion to the vision I caught of Jesus. Not in what I can do (cos I can’t) but what He can do, His omnipotence.

Matt 6:33 makes a lot more sense to me now. In a way, as I wait for certain things to happen, certain blessings to come, my focus is not on exploring my options to get there or obtain them. The focus is not on the blessings, but simply resting in the knowledge that it is in God’s nature to provide and God will arrange it all. It is in believing and knowing that God is powerful enough to provide. Therefore the cares of the world dim compared to the largeness of my God. Like what Jay and Jayme said, we find that we are secure. We find that we do not worry. Because God will provide even when the circumstances seem stacked against us. Their faith stems from their vision of God as a provider. It is not placed on their capability.

Joe is right. We still need to do. For the longest time my doing was undoing me. Because I misunderstood it.

Why are you doing what you are doing?